There can be no universal forgiveness! It never exists!

Forgiveness or pardon means clearing off the feelings of resentment or revenge towards the offender. In most contexts it implies giving up any expectation of justice. People justify this act of forgiveness from a religious point of view and psychologists justify it as an act that would bring peace to the victim. But my experience tells me that both religion as well as psychologists are absolutely wrong in asking a victim to forgive the evil person. This act is bad from a society point of view and would lead to a rise in crimes and unhappiness. Let me explain in depth with examples.

1. I have a friend in the UK. She is originally from Nigeria. She has two siblings who are married with children and she herself is single and childless. In the year 2009, she had gone to her hometown. There her siblings tortured her physically and mentally and put her under house arrest. They did not want to give her any ancestral property and assets. She managed to free herself with the help of a friend and returned to the UK. 

Later based on her conservative religious thinking, she pardoned both her siblings and continued to remain in touch with them and their children. It was supposed to give her peace. But even after 13 years in 2022, she is not at peace. Neither with herself nor with her surroundings. The major reason is that the offenders got no punishment and continued with their ill talks and behavior towards her. 

So what did she, her siblings and the society achieve by this act of forgiveness of hers? The answer is a big cipher. The good remained good and continued to suffer with no peace of mind. The bad continued to be bad to her and others. And society failed to correct the wrong person. Knowing right and wrong from humans point of view is not so hard. 

2. I had a so-called psychologist friend. I say 'had' because she is now an ex-friend to me. Once I told her that I want to see justice for my father. I want justice for my father. I want to see those who made him suffer and cry face problems in their life. Later, she sent me a video clipping of a controversial religious guy who was talking some nonsense in a soft voice that was barely heard. And the video title was 'Enjoying a villian's suffering'. She said the video reminded her of me!!! This was a friend who was supposed to be well-versed in human psychology. But was not. She could not find any difference between 'justice' and 'enjoying someone's suffering'. And mind you that someone was a bad person. 

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And this ex-friend of mine was a divorcee! She had left her husband and mother-in-law in Delhi and returned to Bombay. So she left her in-laws in pain and returned to her mother's house. I wish to ask her as to why she did not forgive her in-laws? Why did she not stay there? Why did she return back putting her husband and in-laws in pain and leaving them hurt? Was she happy to see them in pain? Maybe yes.

So you see, even as a psychologist she had not forgiven her tormentors. It is very easy to preach to forgive rather than follow the same. And those who follow forgiveness are not at ease either, as in example 1 above. 

I think I am better off than these two people. I have not forgiven people who hurt me and my parents. I want justice but I am happy and at peace with myself. Because I have done no wrong. 

Therefore, there is nothing called "Universal Forgiveness". To forgive or not is the right of the person who has been wronged. It cannot be demanded. It cannot be forced neither by the offender nor the society nor by the court of law. And forgiveness comes if at all only after seeing genuine visible regret in the offender. This is rare. Whether a regret is true or not can be decided only by the victim and no one else. 

So stop harping on universal forgiveness. Because their is nothing of that sort possible. 

A victim can 'ignore' and 'try to forget' the wrong of the offender. He or she can try to 'distract himself or herself' from the thoughts of the bad experience at the hands of the offender. But there can be no healing without justice. There can be no healing without some punishment to the offender.

If forgiveness was invariably to come after a crime, Nirbhaya and her parents (victim of Delhi rape 2012) would never have got justice. The 4 rapists would have gone scot-free. The young offender in this case was freed and protected because he was a minor at the time of the crime. The law was wrong in releasing him. Because if he was able to do a sexual act like an adult he was adult enough also for a punishment. Age should not be the cause of release of criminals of such a heinous crime. 

If forgiveness was to be the rule in all cases, there would have been no courts of Justice in the world. No criminal would be arrested and no punishments and sentences given. In fact, society would have ceased to be a society and become a jungle.

Hence stop listening to or heeding to such psychologists. They are not human psychologists but only religious (Hindu, Buddhists etc) psychologists who teach something and follow something else for themselves. To want justice and see the bad person suffer is a humane want/feeling that provides ultimate and true peace to the victim!!! Every human in the position of the victim would seek it and not seeking it would be an inhumane act  or a false pretense to show the world!!!