Girls and women in India are sacrificial goats!

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Surprised by my blog article title!!! But the title is factual and not exaggerated. Though women are educated, they are not empowered. The reason is that the strongly patriarchal mentality still continues to exist in India majorly. When people claim that things are changing, I feel like laughing. Because at the grassroot level, nothing great has changed. There may be isolated cases of women who are independent in the true sense of the word and hence happy. This might be seen in some urban areas. But in rural areas, it is the same old story. Women are pushed into marriages that they do not like. Their voice or opinion is not heard. Even parents are insensitive and deaf to their voices. Sad but true. And truth is always bitter . 

I have done a research in Uttarakhand and found that 99% of the women are unhappy in marriages. They were forced into it and they continue to toil with no inner happiness. The happiness is just the false happiness you get when you just fall in line with society. 


Let me give an example. 

I have a family friend in Dehradun. They are a joint family with agriculture as the main source of income. They are also politicians and belong to the left wing party of Congress. But that's a show-off. Because their thinking continues to be that of right wing. 

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They have a daughter who trained herself as a nurse and started work at the local Himalayan hospital. The parents and her elder paternal uncle arranged a match for her. It seems the bridegroom's side was wealthy. But the bridegroom's family said that they do not want a working daughter-in-law. And without asking the bride to be, the elder paternal uncle and her father said yes to the bridegroom's family. They added that the girl is yours and you can do what you want with her. What a shame! Selfish family and parents. 

I believe the girl did not like this and was saying no. But the whole family emotionally pressurized her to say yes. They all stopped talking to her and isolated her. They emotionally manipulated and blackmailed her. Ultimately, unhappily she agreed for the marriage. What an unhappy start to a lifelong alliance!!! Were the parents worried for their daughter? No, not at all 

Because the father proudly came to me and was boasting that the marriage is a few days away. He added that his daughter has left the job. I expressed my sadness at it and told him that the girl's happiness was more important. But he was not bothered. I told him that if would be difficult for her to get a job later on. And he replied, it's okay. If not INR 20k, she will get 10k INR job. Look at the old man's audacity. Deciding everything for the girl without listening to her side. How inconsiderate and insensitive!!!!

The old man further added that anyway daughters are 'paraya' (foreign or alien). We will give her away. Rest is her luck and she has to bear it!!! What narcissist parents!!!! Shameful!!! I told him daughters are always that of the parents but he did not want to hear anything. 

This I am talking of is about an educated and employed girl of 2024 in the capital city of Dehradun. She was made the sacrificial goat for the family's false prestige and honor. No women of that house stood up for her. I was an outsider, but at least women of that house should have sided her. But no, none of them did. They kept her away from me so that she gets no help from me. If it happens to her, what would be the plight of girls in remote villages of India. 

Now, all of them would get busy buying expensive clothes for self for the wedding day. They would dress up and decorate the poor girl like a doll. Then, they would dance and do all the rituals of marriage. Later, they would shed crocodile tears (remember how the father was boasting to me that she is paraya and it's her fate henceforth). Then all would go home and get busy with their work. They would leave the little girl at the mercy of someone she does not know at all and she has to adjust and compromise for that household with an unhappy inside. What a shame!!!

So stop harping about women education, empowerment and independence in India. Because girls and women continue to suffer in India. Make stringent laws to counteract these ills of society there. 

I was fortunate to have a great father who toiled hard to make me independent in the true sense of the word. But most families in India do not have a strong father. Only political will and laws can help such women. And women themselves have to support self and other women for things to improve there. 

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