Nepali vs Indian panipuri: The differences

-
Image
Everyone enjoys Pani Puri; the rich, the poor, the elderly, the aged, young people, and children irrespective of caste, religion or creed. Even overseas it is relished.  I will not go into the history of it. It spoils the whole fun of the delicious food dish.  But having tasted Pani Puri in several places, both national and international, I have found that they are made to cater to local taste buds. Hence, they are different everywhere in the world.  Let's talk about India and Nepal and the differences in Pani Puri at both places.  1. Puri - The Puris in India are made of maida, atta or suji. You have the option. But in Nepal, it is only maida Puris. I have yet not seen anywhere there suji Puris.  Nepali Pani Puri  2. Fillings - In India, the fillings are made of boiled and mashed potatoes with powdered spices. At times, there may be some green or yellow peas (boiled) in it. At some places, they add ragda (white or yellow peas that is boiled and mashed in spicy water to make a thic
Post a Comment

How to manage, handle, and take care of children of different age groups during a divorce?

-

 Divorce is hard not only for the divorcing partners but also for their children. It is an unpredictable and unplanned thing that comes suddenly and leaves everyone in shock and awe. There are a lot of emotions involved and feelings of hurt, distrust, pain are invariably part of it all. And then the legal process that follows adds on to the trouble. And the number of people divorcing is high. It is rising and the current pandemic had added to the woes. The divorces are more and previous divorces are pending; a huge backlog!!!

Parents, themselves hurt and in pain, also have to think of the future of the young children. This is harder when these are minors. What is the most vulnerable age for a child when their parents are divorcing?

DIVORCE AND THE MOST SUSCEPTIBLE AGE FOR CHILDREN

If we try to answer the question at which age are children most traumatized by their parents’ divorce, then the answer is that children of all ages have bad effects on their physical and mental well-being when it comes to the divorce of their parents. This becomes more challenging when the parents are in a bitter divorce battle and are very vocal about it. So it is best to try to work out the relationship or marriage and avoid a divorce. Even if divorce seems inevitable, it is best to keep it a smooth transition and not let your children face the ill-effects of bitterness. Keep things out of the ears of the children but at the same time, they should be provided updates in a simple language about what is going on between the parents and their relationship. Keep the well-being of your kids as the prime focus and work around it.

Divorce and its impact on children [Source: Mom Junction]

DIFFERENT AGE GROUPS AND THE MOST LIKELY EFFECTS OF DIVORCE

A lot of factors come into play as regards the impact the divorce may have on the child. The age and mental understanding of the child, bitterness of the process, how parents handle it, and the support the child gets from the grandparents and other relatives are all vital and has an impact on the child’s ultimate well-being. But when the child is less than 3 years of age, it is less likely that they will remember anything that happened between the parents. They will come to know only later when they grow up from their parents or other relatives. They do have memory but it is not retained. But certain immediate effects are noticed in them during the process of divorce. They may become more fussy or inconsolable whenever one parent is not around them. They may feel insecure and this might be more apparent when new people are around. They may miss some milestones or may regress. There could be some long-term issues as well that are subtle and may not be easily noticeable.

Divorce and the minor child [Source: FirstCry Parenting]

When a child is 3-5 years old at the time of the divorce, it is the age when abstract thinking is coming in. They have a lot of questions about the world around them. But they are not still aware of what exactly is a divorce. They need parental security and stability more at this age when they are trying to explore newer surroundings. Not having this at the time may hamper their learning process. They are more affected when parents fight. He or she may end up crying more than usual. Fear may set in and there may be bad dreams and nightmares. The child might even request the parents to get back to normal and not fight. They may feel that it is their fault. After the divorce, things may normalize for the child but the trauma may leave the child with lasting bad memories and affect the later development and emotions. If normalcy returns, the child can get adapted to the new milieu and not feel bad.

If the child is school going at the time of the divorce, this is the toughest time to deal with a parental divorce. They are now old enough to remember and retain everything that is going on. They may have internal conflicts and also feel that it is their fault. They question a lot and may want their parents to not separate. They may either take the low road and get depressed and withdrawn or may take the high road and be anxious and fearful of the whole process. They may throw temper tantrums and may take sides on his or her own. His relations in school with peers and teachers may suffer.

When the child is a teen during the divorce, they have a better understanding of why their parents are unable to remain together and want a divorce. In fact, if the married life of their parents is a turmoil for them, they might be happy that their parents have divorced rather than not. They are aware now that it is not their fault. This age is an age of self-centeredness but they at this age are more worried about their own life outside the family and seem to get along with it well. They might even spend more time with their friends or shift out for some time. But he or she is still not mature and needs your support and help in overcoming the crisis.

THERAPY FOR THE CHILDREN

If the child was less than 3 during the divorce, the parents should try to maintain some routine and consistency in managing them during the acute crisis. Besides, try to keep the environment of the child supportive, secure, and loving. Avoid any new frightening situations. But that age is an adaptable one.

In order to not cause more damage at the 3-5 years of age, keep things at the civil and polite level especially when the child is around. Do not fight aloud and refrain from bad-mouthing each other. Do not force children to take sides. They want both the parents and not one.

Divorce and child [Source: GCTP]

Also, read on controlling parents and how they can destroy their child's life!

In 6-12 years old kids, try to remain amicable in their presence. Answer all their questions honestly and do not bad-mouth each other. Keep the child’s environment as supportive and loving as possible. If it becomes difficult, one can try to shift the child into a safer place until the whole issue is sorted out. Psychological support can be sought. Search online and in books on how to handle children at this age.

A teenager child might be easier to handle. But he or she is still not completely mature and needs a supportive and caring parent to help handle the situation. You may need to talk to his or her teacher and discuss the transition. Have an honest talk with your teen child and answer all questions. Ask them if they need a counselor on this matter.

Weigh all the pros and cons before a divorce. And if a divorce is inevitable, better t go ahead amicably and taking proper care of the children involved in the process.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Morton's toe: Everything you need to know about your longer second toe

-
Image
 Often, one notices that the second toe of some people is longer than the great toe. People say different things for it. Many of them say that it implies that the owner of such a longer second toe is a dominant, creative, energetic person in real life and very ambitious and peace and happiness-loving. But no one has tried to understand the reason, science, medicine and problems of having such a toe. It is called as Morton’s toe or Greek foot.  What is a Greek foot? Many people in the world have a longer second toe of the foot. Such feature may be on one side or in both the feet. It is called Morton’s toe or Greek foot. The other names for it are Morton’s foot or royal toe. But the reason is not the second toe is longer but the fact is that the first metatarsal below the great toe is shorter. Thus it is not due to the faulty phalanges but due to the difference in height of the metatarsals. Since the second metatarsal is relatively longer than the first metatarsal, the joint at the base
Read more

There can be no universal forgiveness! It never exists!

-
Image
Forgiveness or pardon means clearing off the feelings of resentment or revenge towards the offender. In most contexts it implies giving up any expectation of justice. People justify this act of forgiveness from a religious point of view and psychologists justify it as an act that would bring peace to the victim. But my experience tells me that both religion as well as psychologists are absolutely wrong in asking a victim to forgive the evil person. This act is bad from a society point of view and would lead to a rise in crimes and unhappiness. Let me explain in depth with examples. 1. I have a friend in the UK. She is originally from Nigeria. She has two siblings who are married with children and she herself is single and childless. In the year 2009, she had gone to her hometown. There her siblings tortured her physically and mentally and put her under house arrest. They did not want to give her any ancestral property and assets. She managed to free herself with the help of a friend an
Read more

Voluntary childlessness is on the rise in the world! What are the reasons for it?

-
Image
 The decision of couples to have no children by choice seems tough but is increasing in the modern world. Though society looks down at such couples, the availability of effective and safe contraception and old age support from non-family agencies has made things a bit easier for such decisions to be made.  Reasons for voluntary childlessness 1. Personal reasons such as not wanting responsibilities of a child.  2. The emphasis on career rather than reproduction 3. The lack of desire to forward one's family genes or line due to child abuse.  4. Anguish against existence in general. 5. Non-readiness to give up one's freetime and social time for children rearing 6. Happier to help others raise kids 7. Preferring a pet over a child 8. Not wanting to give up personal space and sharing it with a child.  9. Not happy with child-rearing things such as cleaning up mess, disturbing one's sleep etc. 10. Not particularly fond of children behavior. 11. In some situations, one partner alr
Read more